She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
