I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
