the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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