after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
