Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
