PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
This toilet bowl is my home.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
