Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
