so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
