Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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