I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
