You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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