everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
