They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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