:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize