Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
