if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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