i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
