I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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