my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize