ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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