We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
there is puke in my bra ... again
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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