I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize