I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
