you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
