I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
