Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
