He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
