he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
