Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
