Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
