theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I would fuck him just for his dog
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
