Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
