All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
