its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
