so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
