Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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