i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
