Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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