I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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