i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
