and you said cock pushups were impossible
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
