he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
