when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
