Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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