What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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