It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
