you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
