you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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