i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
