so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
we should paint friendship bongs
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize