I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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