I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Rumble strips road head = magical
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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