We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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