We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
