woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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