If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
