ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
