Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize