He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
soo... how was my night?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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